Valentine’s Day is on the horizon – but how relevant is it seen to be to people with learning disabilities?
There are many reasons why relationship support is overlooked. There are misconceptions around sexual desire, romantic interest, abilities to form relationships and mental capacity, to name a few.
A taboo persists and it is time it was – literally – put to bed.
Article 8 of the Human Rights Act states people have the right to a private life, including the right to consensual sexual expression in private. Many people fail to achieve this, because of issues such as restrictive practices, no awareness of their rights and a lack of education for both them and support staff.
We are combating these inequalities though Supported Loving, a national network founded in 2017 and hosted by social care charity Choice Support.
Through this, people share best practice, develop guidance and champion sex-positive, active relationship and sexuality support. There are more than 1,500 members, including social care staff, self-advocates, social workers, nurses, educators and family members.
Supported Loving campaigns for changes to reduce this taboo in care, such as including sexuality support in inspections by social care regulator the Care Quality Commission.
We also want mandatory training on this issue for staff and access to relationship and sexuality education for all adults who use social care.
In 2019, we started a project with workforce development body Skills for Care. This included a review of learning materials for staff on sexuality and intimate relationships.
Surprisingly few training resources for staff existed. Focus groups with 120 social care staff highlighted how many found it difficult to discuss these sensitive topics. They said it was hard to know what to say, how to say it and what you could or could not say.
Our review did not identify any resource that gave practical advice such as how to start conversations, examples of words to use and where to find more information.
In response, several Supported Loving members developed Shoo the Taboo. The aim this is to reduce taboos around sex and relationships and help care and support staff feel more confident in responding to sexual expression.
The pack includes 50 A5 cards that inform and encourage and further exploration. These can be used with individuals and groups. There are 10 cards for each of the five sections: sex-positive relationships and sex education; sexuality and relationships within the law; diverse sexuality and gender expression; online activity for sex or relationships; and supporting relationships.
Cards are based on the authors’ experience in social care as practitioners and trainers, and reflect concerns raised by staff.
Shoo the Taboo took more than a year to develop and was launched in April 2022.
Outraged responses
Professionals and people with learning disabilities gave feedback on the cards. The most memorable aspects were the latter’s reaction to questions posed on the cards – they were, rightly, outraged.
For example, one question was: “My manager says I have to keep the door open when a partner visits – is that what I should do?” Another was: “My colleagues have said the people we support don’t have any sexual feelings, so there is no need to think about it. Should I go along with them?”
Responses from people with learning disabilities included comments such as “it’s not right” and “they shouldn’t say or do that”. One support worker said: “I used to get really worried I wasn’t allowed to say this or to talk about it but I now feel much more confident.”
While it was upsetting to share how some staff perceive people’s sexuality, it was rewarding that those involved in the Supported Loving network knew this was wrong and should be challenged.
We plan to use Shoo the Taboo sales proceeds to host an event where people with learning disabilities and professionals can learn and have fun – and explore how to shoo this taboo for good.
Claire Bates is Supported Loving Leader at Choice Support
