Talented artist and designer David Braunsberg, diagnosed as severely autistic aged four, describes the part that work has played in his life, his struggles and successes.
Quote: Volunteering is good for autistic people as it is flexible and non-pressurised. It provides a regular routine and a structure to my week.
I was born in London in 1959. From an early age it became evident that I was severely autistic, unable to talk until age four. At this early stage I made up words which, to everyone else, had no meaning. The earliest event I can remember is a picnic and being stung by a wasp. Unable to communicate I screamed for a very long time.
Noise, such as slamming car doors, or road works involving drilling, greatly disturbed me. I would be afraid and block my ears. I do not remember much about the strange behaviour my mother has told me about, except standing in the middle of a room and spinning round and round until I became giddy.
In 1963 I was diagnosed autistic. Anxiety and temper tantrums were a big problem. I began attending Sybil Elgar’s school in St. John’s Wood, the first in Britain to teach autistic children. Mrs Elgar always had her eyes on me and was caring and loving but she was strict and told me off when I behaved badly. When the school was adopted by the National Autistic Society it moved to Ealing and I still remember the building. I did not play with the other children but on my own.
Integration
By 1968 I could talk and was gradually integrated into a mainstream school ending up in a school ‘for delicate children’. I was unhappy there because I was bullied – usually in the boys’ toilets. In summer 1969 we moved to Edinburgh. I remained anxious and found it difficult to mix with other children. Early in 1972 we came back to London where I attended Hampstead Comprehensive School. There I had a fabulous headmistress who kept an eye on me to prevent teasing and bullying. Although I did encounter some teasing and bullying and was quite anxious in the beginning, as I settled down I was able to make friends and, as a whole, enjoyed school. I coped well in most of the subjects and especially enjoyed maths. In the fourth year my work in art was recognised as a gift by the teachers. I managed to obtain several O-level passes.
I left school in 1977 and took a three-year diploma course in Furnishing and Textiles at the London College of Furniture. The Head of Textiles was very caring and looked after me. The other students were mature and understanding and I got on well with them. During the last term of the third year the pressure of preparation for the Diploma presented difficulties and I had stress problems. Despite this I passed.
Studio
I enjoyed weaving the most so I set myself up as a freelance and took short courses with several well-known weavers. I felt I could not work full-time in paid employment and a pressured, competitive environment. I showed my tapestries in several group exhibitions. Eventually I rented a studio in East London which I shared with an embroiderer. I had an obsession about locking up when I was the last to leave, having to check several times before I went home. In 1987 I gave up the studio because weaving was not lucrative. My work was very labour intensive and not easy to sell at realistic prices.
To learn another craft I took a workshop with a well-known silk painting artist. I had already worked with batik at college and wanted to extend my skills. I enjoyed it but after completing it I began to have psychiatric problems. I felt I did not have a structure to my week and started getting anxieties, obsessions, phobias and depression. Following the Lockerbie bomb disaster in 1988 I cancelled a planned trip to New York to visit relatives and had further obsessions imagining people being after me with guns. When things eventually got better I continued with my silk painting, working from home, and I am still doing this. Being autistic presents problems for a freelance artist unable to ‘sell himself’ and convince shops or galleries to show his work. Not having a full weekly schedule or coping with too many tasks at once also upsets me.
In 1996 I registered with Prospects, an employment service run by the National Autistic Society to help autistic people find and keep jobs, hoping this would give a structure to my week which is especially important for autistic people. I had several placements, some more suitable than others. From 1997 to 1998 I worked at the Architectural Association School of Architecture as a technician. I also learned etching along with the students. I then worked from 1999 to 2000 as a technician once a week in a local Adult Education Institute. Every week I was asked to work in a different department and these changes in routine presented a problem. I became very depressed and left Prospects. Freelance work did not provide a regular routine and I returned to my earlier obsessional behaviour.
Commission
In 2003 I got a commission to design and paint a large silk hanging for Priors Court School for autistic pupils. I was also interviewed to take part in a documentary for the BBC, The Autism Puzzle. This included me as a small boy (from an earlier documentary) and as a very articulate artist as an adult.
In 2008 I had my worst bout of anxiety, obsessions and depression and had to seek help. Eventually I was encouraged by a social worker to work at a greeting card company which took on people with mental health problems, but had no experience with autistic people. The staff did not listen to my problems and I was very unhappy there, behaving in a difficult way and crying frequently. This made it even harder to be understood. I was patronised and felt like a round peg in a square hole and became very obsessive. Returning home after a day’s work I felt depressed and miserable. When the company moved I left.
My social worker suggested that I should try volunteering and at one of the meetings I heard about the Holy Cross Centre Trust which helps people who are socially excluded. I now run an art table at their drop-in centre in Kings Cross providing materials and advice where a small group can draw and colour and I use my own talents to encourage and facilitate their work. Everyone is friendly and caring and the atmosphere suits me very well. I am respected for the person I am and at no time have I felt upset or ill at ease. I have made some friends and my confidence has snowballed over the years there. Volunteering is good for autistic people as it is flexible and non-pressurised. It provides a regular routine and a structure to my week.
I have through my life experienced high degrees of stress and have not been able to suppress my anger when people have behaved rudely or with total disregard for my problems. Words may have failed me so I have felt I had to show my distress physically. Over the years such episodes have become infrequent and I now love life. I enjoy many fulfilling activities and meeting lovely people. I still attend art classes because I greatly enjoy working together with other people and being inspired by a brilliant teacher. In spite of all this I still encounter some problems.
Being autistic comes with some benefits. I am particularly thorough and tidy and careful not to hurt the feelings of those around me. I am keen to help autistic children to develop artistic gifts and their parents to give them hope for the future and to convince them that autism is not a disability but just being different. I have already given several talks to parents.
