Page 10 - Community Living 35-4

relationships
Life after losing Ronnie

During the pandemic, Susie Gentry’s husband Ronnie died. She
shares her memories and discusses some of the things that
have helped her to cope with grief and look ahead

onnie and I were together for 25
years before we got married. We got
Rmarried in 2005 and we had a good
and nice life together. We were very happy.
After we got married, we moved into our Anyone who has lost someone can read
own flat and this is where I live today. my stories at any time on the Surviving
When my Ronnie passed away, I was Through Story website (see link at the
very sad and miserable. He woke up on a end). If like me they feel sad because they
Friday morning saying he had a pain in his have lost a loved one, I hope it will make
chest and he couldn’t get up. I called an them feel a bit better.
ambulance and the ambulance came. He I also wrote about Ronnie in a book.
went to the hospital. Since then, lots of my friends have signed
Then the doctor phoned me and said this book and it is another way of
that Ronnie was very ill. I was very upset remembering Ronnie.
because I couldn’t visit because of the Ronnie and I used to do lots of things
pandemic. I kept phoning to see how together. We went out to meet friends
he was. and for meals and to the pub. We went on
On the Saturday morning, the nurse holiday together to lots of places.
called me and said: “I’m very sorry Susie After Ronnie passed away, I was on my
but your husband passed away at 5.45 in best to cheer me up – they took me out to own much more. Now I’ve started to
the morning.” lunch and phoned me. make some new friends and spend time
I said to the nurse, “Did he say anything My carers and the managers were very with them. Some of them are neighbours
about me?” and she said, “Yes, he was good to me. It was in the Covid time so from my flats.
talking about you and going out with you you couldn’t see many people. They
on his birthday.” looked after me. Making friends
Losing Ronnie was a very big shock. On the table in our lounge, there is a When I could go out again I went with my
When Ronnie passed away, we had been colour magazine with our wedding photo carers and my neighbour and friend to
married for 15 years and had been together and a story that the staff wrote about our play bingo and ludo for the first time. I
for 40 years. This happened at the start of wedding. I kept looking at that every day found I enjoyed it and made new friends.
the pandemic but he did not have Covid. and I kept remembering my Ronnie. It’s helped me a lot now I’m doing more
After Ronnie died, I began to write my things like going out, playing games,
Friends to look after me stories because I liked to remember him. I having tea and making friends I can chat
When I went to his funeral, I was very also wanted to help other people who with. Every week I go to bingo in the flats
upset. It was good that I had friends who might have lost their husbands, wives, with my friend who lives near me. I always
looked after me and they gave me a sons, daughters or a grandparent. At that say “good evening” to all my friends and
cuddle. After that my friends did their time, lots of people died of Covid. they all say “good evening” to me.
The second Christmas after Ronnie died,
Susie Gentry with a it was safe to go out again. My friends
Valentine’s day tale; invited me to a Christmas dinner and I
above: the wedding went out with them. I had a Christmas
day in 2005 – the dinner with them on Christmas day in the
couple were together flats where I live.
for 40 years On new year’s day, I had a buffet dinner
with them. I enjoyed this a lot and it made
me feel better to be with other people.
This summer, I’m not going on holiday
like I used to do with Ronnie but instead
I’m going with my friends and my carers
to watch an air show and on some special
days out. n
l Read Susie Gentry’s stories about her
life with Ronnie at www.surviving
throughstory.com/celebrate-a-life

10 Vol 35 No 4 | Summer 2022 Community Living www.cl-initiatives.co.uk