Page 15 - Community Living Magazine 36-1

family

mattered. I convinced him that his future
was important and that he would find his
role in society.
It was hard for me to admit but it
became clear the system had failed
Reuben miserably. His needs had not been
met. The care system’s reaction to the
pandemic had left him emotionally
exposed and damage has been done.
This was through no fault of their own,
for they were simply trying to salvage
their businesses and save lives. I get it. I
really do. But, in hindsight, it could have
all been handled so differently.
Reuben had basically sat in his room for
three months, rarely leaving the care home.
No one had connected his TV so he had no
idea what was going on in the world. I will
always salute his bravery and bow before
his resilience. I think I might have sunk even
lower had I been in the same situation.
When I bronapped him, he had no idea Recovery: Manni reassures Reuben his future is important and that he will find his role in society
what a vaccine was and why the world
was spinning into a lockdown. No one had Eight weeks after moving Reuben from Reuben handed Gracie more than
thought to explain to him. the care home, a friend encouraged me to 200 drawings and Adrian began to read
Perhaps they assumed his ignorance write our story. I had always written for some of the manuscript. After a few
might have been his bliss. They clearly had pleasure so, true to my friend’s inspired minutes, they looked at each other and,
no idea how intelligent he is. He was craving advice, I woke up at 5am, lit a candle, instinctively, they knew. They offered to
information. He was craving an explanation. made a cup of tea, took a notebook our buy the book.
His survival instinct was to shut down and mum had sent me for Christmas, wrote Reuben became more and more excited
enter a period of emotional hibernation. “brother. do. you. love. me.” on the and involved in the project. It was always
inside cover and my hope that the book would help him to
began writing. find his voice again and that it will help
Shoo The Taboo tumbled out in him to realise his important role in the
The words
hearts and minds of others.
torrents. Through
This A5 card pack has been produced by members of the writing, my We did it
National Supported Loving Network to help open the sex and thoughts gained Not long ago, he sent me a text: “you. me.
relationship conversation for people involved in care and
support. The aim is to reduce the taboo that surrounds the order. The cracks in did. it. brother.” Too right, brother. We did
subject and assist people to feel more confident in responding my coping it. He continues to be my fulcrum and
to aspects of sexual expression. mechanism began gives my life a clearer perspective, like a
to narrow. vanishing point that I use as a reference
The pack includes 50 common questions
from social care staff on topics including: As I was writing, to draw all my lines.
10 x Supporting sex-positive relationships and sex education. Reuben was Reuben’s text message had asked
10 x Supporting sexuality and relationships within the law. drawing. Still “brother. do. you. love. me.” This book
10 x Supporting diverse sexuality and gender expression. non-verbal, he spent is my response. Hopefully, he now
the afternoons
10 x Supporting online activity for sex or relationships. drawing and would understands just how much I do. n
l brother. do. you. love. me. by Manni
10 x Supporting relationships.
hand me his daily Coe and Reuben Coe was published by
They can be used illustration every Little Toller Books on 4 October
in so many ways: evening before he
• Staff training sessions. went to bed.
• In supervisions. When Gracie
• In team meetings. and Adrian
• n workshops with the Cooper from
I
people you support. independent
publisher Little
Toller Books
heard about our
Buy your copy here for £45 book through a
www.meet-n-match.co.uk/product/ university friend’s
shoo-the-taboo-cards Facebook page,
(meet-n-match.co.uk) they asked to
meet us.

www.cl-initiatives.co.uk Community Living Vol 36 No 1 | Autumn 2022 15